"I miss you and I'll be home soon..."

So...things are crazy around here, just like usual. :-D Justin was on a roll there for a while, calling and texting pretty regularly but then...he ran out of minutes. lol I sent him another phone card and I think his parents did too, because I got a call tonight! Yay! We have 45 days left until he's home. I can't wait! He's doing such an amazing job of writing even though he has a phone now. It's strange, but nothing takes the place of those letters. I've had a migraine all day and it's now just a dull pain so I think I'll go to bed and hopefully sleep the rest of it off. I just wanted to write a little something because it's been a while...

He's got these brown eyes that drive me crazy...

I just got off the phone with Justin!!! :-D We got to talk for a whole 13 minutes and 37 seconds!He now has a cell phone which is AWESOME! I'm not going to count on the fact that he'll be able to call anymore often, but still...
He asked me how many days til his graduation, I guess to check and see if I'm still keeping up with it. lol I knew the answer, of course. 57 days til graduation...56 til I see him again. *Sigh* I miss that boy like crazy and I'll never be able to sleep tonight, but I'm so happy! :-)

Time flies when you're having fun...

So...the picture above is what I want to see more than anything! lol It was taken last summer at Soldier Creek, where we spent pretty much every weekend. I'm just a country girl and love to get muddy and nasty on the back of a 4 wheeler. :-) We're going the first Saturday he's home!!! Tomorrow means that it is officially less than 2 months til J gets home! This past week has been amazing. J was on pass between BCT and AIT so he used a buddies cell and called! I got to talk to him Saturday night...and then he drunk dialed me at 2:30 Sunday morning. Apparently, they had a case a beer and he had a big box of Cheez-Its...so he was practically in heaven. :-) After they got back on base they got to keep cell phones, so he called Monday, Wednesday and Friday, plus I got text messages and a letter on Thursday! I didn't know what to do with all that contact. A friend and I decided that I'll probably pass out from excitement when I actually get to talk to him and SEE him at the same time. lol
Anyways...the tattoo I got last Friday has healed really well. I had the word Faith put on my left hip. It's pink and there are three small, heart shaped music notes above the h. I love it and can't wait to show J. I told him about it, but I've still managed to keep the pierced belly button a secret somehow. ;-) I just feel awesome right now...I know I'll have more rough days before we're through with this separation but at the moment things are looking up. :-D

Just for a moment...

Today came out of nowhere. I've been doing really well the past few days and thought that I'd made it over the hump. I guess not...
Gretchin and I were close to Justin's parents house this afternoon and she wanted to see what it looked like, so we drove past. I was fine before that, laughing and telling her little things about this place and that place. Then we got past the house and I looked back at the driveway behind the house. His truck was sitting there and for a split second I forgot he's gone. My heart dropped to my stomach and I thought...."Justin's home!" Just as soon as the thought came, though it was gone. I remembered that he's not home. Hasn't been in a few months and won't be for a few more months. I never expected it to affect me the way it did but it really upset me.

Dixieland Delight...

I'm feeling mellow tonight. I'm normally a pretty laid back person and tonight has made me realize just how keyed up I've been for the last 2 months. I stopped my car on the way home and sat there in the middle of nowhere, looking out my sunroof at the stars. The weather is absolutely perfect and I love to be outside on spring and summer nights, just taking things in. I'm a simple, small town, Southern country girl and it doesn't take much to make me happy. Friends and a bonfire, or a quilt and a porch swing, it doesn't really matter to me. I don't have to go out every night or be wined and dined. Gretchin and I went and walked tonight, now that she's made it through finals week and we were talking about life in general. She's so determined to graduate and open her daycare. It's what she's wanted since she was little and it's her priority. Her career is what motivates her. She's planning things around graduation and doesn't want to get married before she has that worked out. I admire her for that, but don't feel the same way. To me, every job I have will be just that... a job. I can't help but feel that my career will be my family, being a wife and mom someday. I love to be busy and couldn't handle not having a job, but after I have kids, I want to stay home with them. At least until they go to school. Then I can go back to work and use my degree but no job will ever be as important as my job as wife and mother. I feel like my kids will be the most important thing I'll ever do. If you screw that up, then that's it. You only get one chance to mold and shape a life and if you don't pay enough attention or give it your all, where does that leave you? I won't live forever, but after I'm gone my children will still be here and I want to leave the right kind of legacy behind.
Anyways...that's just something that's been rattling around in my head for a few days now. :-) On to more trivial things. Like I said, Gretch and I went walking tonight. It was great! I hadn't seen her in a week and she said that I look slimmer. I wanted to kiss her! lol I've really been working at it and I can tell some slight differences. Mostly I just feel better...more confident.
I took my brother and sister out to eat tonight and it was definitely interesting! My little brother is one of the funniest people I know. He can imitate just about anyone and is an all-around ham. He had me laughing so hard I was choking. The kid is hilarious!
I had a dream last night that Justin had gotten home from basic and it was the most realistic dream I've ever had. I woke up fully expecting him to be there...which kinda sucked when I realized he wasn't there. Oh well...we're doing good. 78 more days til graduation! :-) Not that I'm counting or anything. lol I know I'm likely to be a wreck when we actually get there but I absolutely can not wait!

"Yeah, here in Kentucky I'm doing fine..."

SO...today was insanely busy! :-) After work I stopped by the Bookrack, a used bookstore here in town, to try and find something that Justin might like to read. I couldn't find a single Tom Clancy but I did find a paperback that looked like it may be something similar. I hope...lol. I tried and it's like Ashley said, I'm sure he'll be so glad to have something to read that it won't really matter too much. I bought two romance novels for myself...they're my guilty pleasure. I love to read but sometimes I just want something that doesn't require too many brain cells to figure out. Plus, I'm a hopeless romantic and a sucker for a happy ending. :-)
When I got home, it was time to get to work. We'd unloaded a bunch of furniture yesterday and it was time to get things situated today. Mitch and I put up my new bed, then moved on to assembling his new queen sized bed. It didn't take too long and we had it done before mom got home.
I've stuck to my diet today, but it hasn't been easy. I was pretty bad over the weekend, but I'm determined to get a handle on it this week. Between all the new restaurants opening in town and the fellowship meal at church, I just didn't even want to follow Atkins. Like I said though, I'm back on the wagon as of this morning.
My shirt came in today, too! When I opened it up I thought there was no way I would fit into it, but I guess it was bigger than it looked. lol It's Caribbean blue and in hot pink says, "My soldier is hotter than yours." I really think Justin will get a kick out of it when he sees it and I'm proud to wear it. :-) I may be a little bit biased but I think the statement is completely true!
All in all, today was a really good day. I feel better than I have in a week or two, maybe even longer. We're getting really close to the halfway mark and things seem to be getting easier now that BCT is almost over. It's strange. I would definitely expect him to say things are easier because basic is supposed to be the hard part, but it's gotten better for me, too. Maybe part of it is the fact that we have the first part under our belt or maybe it's the fact that I know he's made it through the first half of this and is still loving it. I was so worried that he wouldn't really like it once he got on base, but he LOVES it and I couldn't be any happier! :-) Big sigh...I'm happy and going to bed! Night...

2 letters...in 2 days

Yep...in case you didn't guess by the title...I got another letter today! :-) This one was another short one, but still awesome to read. Justin can now get books. Add another thing to my mission list which so far looks like this...
1. Keep an eye out for an apartment that Justin will like
2. Find books that he'll actually be interested in
3. Order t-shirt
4. Make and order Shutterfly book
5. Get in shape! :-)
6. Get hair back into the condition it was in last spring...long, blond and healthy
7. Get signed up for fall semester
8. Save as much money as possible
They really aren't in any particular order, but that's at least 8 things I want done by July 17. I like working with a deadline because it keeps me motivated!
I just went for a jog but it was a little closer to dark than I realized. There was a massive pack of coyotes just over the hill and it made me kind of nervous. We've had all sorts of trouble with them lately. The population has just exploded!
Right now there is a brand new weight bench sitting in my den, so I think I'm going to try it out! I'm pretty stoked about it, I have to confess! I don't really have much new to say anyways. Just in a really good mood and thought I'd take the chance to write something that isn't totally depressing! :-)

I just can't stop smiling!

I got a letter!!! :-) I have felt like such crap for the past few days because I hadn't heard from Justin. I felt like I was sleepwalking yesterday, here but not really. Today was the worst yet. I try so hard to put on a smiling face so that my friends won't know just how alone I feel. They try to understand but just don't. Some seem to think that I should use this time to party and go out all the time, but I don't feel like it. One of my so-called friends has even tried to hook me up with friends of her fiance so I don't get "bored!" I flew through the roof when I found out! I guess some support and understanding is a little much to ask from some people. She doesn't have to agree with my decisions but to show such amazing disrespect it just crazy! On the whole though, my friends have been awesome. They invite me out but don't push me if I don't want to go. And I'm not saying that I've stayed at home the entire time Justin's been gone. It's just that some nights, I don't feel like going to the bar and getting hit on when that's the last thing I want. I don't always feel up to watching my friends and their significant other's.
I was so scared that Justin would leave and forget all about me. I know that sounds very sill and insecure but I just couldn't help myself. We've had a somewhat rocky road to get to where we are and I just didn't know if we would make it through all the time and distance. I told him I knew I could handle it, and I meant every word. I just didn't know if we could or if he would even want to. If there were ever a real life Peter Pan it would be Justin. He didn't want to grow up. He put it off for as long as he could but it caught up with him. It's been such a shock (amazing, but still shocking) to hear the change in his letters. He's talking about settling down, how much he's changed and missing me and what we're going to do when he gets home. He was starting to get there before he left but the Army seems to have whipped him into shape...in a hurry! lol I hate to let myself hope because I'm so scared of being let down, but if he's ready, I am! :-)
Justin's mom is not going to be happy with him, though. He didn't order individual pictures but said he "has a plan." The first thing I thought was, "uh-oh!" lol He wants us to actually go have professional pictures made once he gets home. So guess what I spent the last half hour doing? That's right...looking through galleries of local photographers. I have a feeling all the details will be left up to yours truly. :-)
Anyways, totally changing the subject. I think I'm moving in with Gretchin in July! Probably right before we go to Justin's graduation. I am soo excited!! We're both pretty laid back so I think it will work out just fine. The best part is I can finally get a puppy.
Mom just called and apparently the whole family is going out to eat tonight. I have 20 minutes to get ready. :-)

20 things I miss...

I wrote this last night and at the last minute decided to post it before I mail it...some of these probably won't make any sense to anyone other than us but oh well... :-)

Things I miss

1.Holding hands
2. Making you laugh
3. Arguing with you...then making up ;-)
4. The way you smell so good
5. Dancing
6. Laying around on the couch doing nothing
7. Watching 300 with you and hearing all the funny "manly" noises that you make...all the grunts and growls and "Yeah! Leonidas is THE MAN!" lol
8. The taste of beer and toothpaste..."It's an acquired taste!"
9. Telling you all about my day and people you don't know while you're a good sport and suffer through it, at least pretending to listen
10. Your snoring...
11. and your cooking! :-)
12. Nobody calls me E.E.H.O.W. when you're gone
13. No one calls me Sugar, either...
14. The typical Me: "Remember when (insert any random thing)?"
Justin: "No! Think who you're talking to." ***He really does have the memory of a goldfish lol
15. Reminding you what day of the week it is ;-)
16. No one else fills out my jeans quite like you do!
17. I have no one to tattoo with Sharpies
18. Nobody can cut up a cheeseburger like you can
19. Horsing around and totally destroying the bed covers
20. You :-)

I keep coming back...

Today is the best/worst day of the week...Thursday. It's my day off work and every morning I wake up at 4:30 am thinking..Ugh, is it Thursday yet? lol Yet when the day actually gets here...what do I do? Thursdays used to be my play day. If I weren't already at Justin's, then I would hop out of bed early to get ready, drive the 5 minutes it took to get to the apt, and crawl back into bed with him. :-) We would go to the lake in the summer time, grill, call everyone we knew and end up having a big time. Or maybe we would run errands, or just sit on the couch, or even clean. Whatever it was...he was always there. Now...he's never here. Quite the change. These days I sleep in on Thursdays, get up and search for things to occupy my mind. A girlfriend called me the other day and I was cleaning. She made the comment that I must be clean freak, because every time she calls that's what she catches me doing. I just told her that I have fall back busy work. I clean, I walk, I tan, I write and they help me pass the time.
I'm spoiled. I will come right out and admit it. I got used to hearing from Justin at least once a week since he left and I'm struggling. It's been a while now and I still write everyday but what do I say? I feel like I keep asking the same questions over and over again. I tell him about the day to day stuff here, but I'm afraid to sound self centered, like I only want to talk about me, me, me. I keep telling myself that we're almost halfway through and then it's all downhill from there. 13 more days to the turning point...I can make it that long, can't I?
**I think I'm going to end this with some song lyrics. It's a country song by Josh Gracin and I absolutely love it. It's one of the songs I usually listen to when I write Justin. :-)

I Keep Coming Back

I told myself getting out
That’s what this is all about
Sun goes up, sun goes down
You only get one go around
Then I left this town

Then I let that road carry me
As far as it could carry me
Stood on a mountain free
Found a place where I could breathe in and out
And thought about things that I can’t live without

Chorus:
I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back

See the more people change
The more that they stay the same
So I just stopped everything
Thought about all the things
Weighing me down
Then I threw out old boxes
Emptied my pockets
Of regrets and love letters
Pictures and lockets

And all I have now
Is the truth that I’ve found
Life has a way
Of just turning around
And around
And around

I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back

To the town on the hill
So peaceful and still
And my memories are at

I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
No matter how far
No matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back

Who says chivalry is dead?

I have to have the worst luck with cars! I told Justin that the electric blue POS, which he'd nursed along for the better part of a year, would die a week after he left and guess what? I was wrong...it only made it 4 days before it died! lol So after a long and careful search I bought "Quicksilver" and we rode of in to the sunset together. For a little while at least. If you know me at all, though, you probably know that any vehicle of mine can only run so long before we run right into trouble! So here's my latest adventure in the land of vehicular mishaps! :-)

Things were going great on Monday. The weather was gorgeous, sunny and 80 degrees. I went home to change and just see where the road took me. I had no plans so I called up a girlfriend who had her first baby in January. I hadn't seen them in a while and Emma is the cutest little chunky butt. I told KC I was on my way and headed out. Pulling up to a 4-way stop, I noticed my radio wasn't working. My first thought was that Justin's stereo project might not wait for him to get home. Oh well...could be worse right? Definitely! So, I started to turn but...uh oh. Not happening because my power steering was shot. That's when I started to worry. A quick check of blinkers and hazards and windows...nope...nothing's working and I can't accelerate. Coasting down the road at 55 I wonder just what I should do but the big, red stop sign getting closer makes things simple. I was coming up on another intersection and thought about trying to coast thru and attempting to limp it home. A white dump truck coming down the road changed my mind. When I stopped, the car died...completely. Great right? That's what I was thinking. I put it in park, turned it off and thought maybe I'd catch a break if I tried to start it again. No such luck though. It was dead as a door nail! I had no hazards but at least it was light out. As I'm getting out to take a look at the outside and under the hood, an S-10 pulls up. Two guys get out and ask if I need help. I'd known one of them for years, since my grandad had preached at his church and he had been just a grade below me in school. They tried to jump my brand new battery (which I'd just bought Saturday) but nothing. That's when I started calling. I had a feeling a tow truck would be the only thing to get me out of this latest vehicular mishap and I was right. The really great guys at Jason's Collision's would be there in a few minutes according to Jason himself. Meanwhile, another guy had shown up to help. I have no clue where he came from because he showed up while I was on the phone. He must have lived close by though because he didn't have a car. The guys decided to push my car thru the intersection, to be safe. Only one problem with that...my car refused to go into neutral. lol Just about the time they were messing with it and I was on the phone with my mechanic, a black Ford pulled up. I noticed right away that the man who got out had on a blue button up that said National Guard above the breast pocket. He asked if he could give it a try and slid in behind the wheel. While fiddling around in the car, he saw a pic of Justin and I and asked who the guy was. I told him and guess what? Turns out he's a sergeant in the Guard and knows Justin! :-) Small world right? He couldn't fix it though. lol So now we're all standing around, making small talk and waiting on the tow truck and my ride. The big green tow pulls up and one by one the guys left. THe guy from Jason's gets the car loaded up and Gretch still isn't there. She called and said she was on her way and Mr. Tow man told her just to meet us at the school down the road and he gave me a ride. Did I mention I had on a white skirt? I didn't know if I was going to make it all the way up into the cab with my modesty intact! :-P I made it though and he was the sweetest guy with a very country accent. Worse than my own! lol Gretch was waiting when we pulled in and as I was getting into her truck (which was thankfully lower than the tow!) my dad called me. I gave him an update on the situation and as soon as he hung up I broke down. I managed to get everything taken care off before I lost it but as soon as I stopped moving I just cried! lol All I could think was that I haven't even made a single payment on the car and it's broken! Thankfully, it was just the alternator belt and a broken bolt. Now it's back and good as new. I'm just glad that those guys were all nice enough to stop and help as best they could. No, they couldn't fix it, but they tried everything they could think of. People were stopping left and right and offering help. That's what I love about living around here. No, it's not exactly Mayberry, but people are still willing to help out when you need it.
I wrote Justin but haven't heard back yet. Which brings me to my second part of this blog. I KNOW that he's busy. My head keeps telling me that training is getting more intense. There out in the field more than ever...doing more of the "fun stuff" as he calls it. I'm glad that he's loving it and wouldn't want it any other way. Yet, part of me just wants a letter! Just a paragraph would be great. lol He told me mail would slow waaay down for the last few weeks, but blah...knowing it doesn't change the feeling I get when I open the mailbox to see junk mail and bills but no little square envelope with that familiar little scrunched up writing. :-)
I may actually get to see him after BCT and before AIT. Does it make any sense for me to be...nervous? I don't know but it sorta does. When I see him in May, it will have been 3 months since we dropped him off in Nashville. I can still see the look on his face as I walked away with his necklace in my hands. The thought of seeing him again, being able to touch him, smell him, actually see his facial expressions makes a lump in my throat and my stomach feel like its bouncing down to my toes and back up a million times a minute. It's exciting, of course, but it's scary too. Is that normal? So much has happened since he left that I don't even know where I'll start when I actually see him again. I want to know everything about BCT and life on the base and I want to tell him what he's missed around here. I'm not scared because my feelings have lessened...maybe it's because they've gotten stronger since he left and I didn't really expect that. Then again, I didn't have any idea what to expect when he left. I just want to hug him!! More than anything, I want to feel his arms around me! :-) I feel like I'm going 90 miles an hour in at least that many directions.
Anyways...it's off to church now. Then after that Gretch and I are going on our nightly 4 mile walk. We've been walking around the college campus for a while now and I've lost 5 whole pounds! Not a lot but, hey...it's a start and I'll take that! :-)

Slow Sunday at work...

I need to work out today...badly! :-) I decided long before Justin left that I was going to get back into shape. Somewhere over the course of our relationship I put on more weight than I'm happy about. To be honest, we both did but I guess the army will run his beer and pizza right off! :-) That leaves me to motivate myself and so far I've done decently. I'm holding my own at least. I've managed to stop drinking cokes and cut out a lot of the sugar and carbs. Still, I can't help but feel frustrated at the lack of results. I look in the mirror sometimes and get so discouraged at what I see. Exercising isn't the problem because I love to be moving and working up a sweat. What's hardest for me is to say no to the chocolate and potatoes that seem to be everywhere! Gretch and I decided last week to start the Atkins diet. I hadn't had French fries in well over a week and the night before we were supposed to start I was fine with that. Of course, my first morning on the Atkins, what did I want? Fries, a Dr. Pepper, a candy bar! lol Things that I never really even wanted just one day earlier now seemed to occupy my every thought. It got so bad that I was daydreaming about potato wedges even more than I did about Justin! :-D To make things even better, a phrase from one of his letters kept running through my mind. He'd been at BCT about 2 1/2 weeks when he said, "I'm already starting to lose weight and my muscles are firming up. How's your diet going?" He wasn't trying to brag or make me feel bad, of course, but I was just like...Ugh! I simply don't understand why it's soo easy to gain the weight but yet it's soo hard to take it back off! Oh well...I guess I'll just keep on trying. That's all I can do right? :-) Wish me luck...I'll definitely need a lot of it!
To change the subject completely, I bought one of my favorite movies of all time...Steel Magnolias. I absolutely LOVE Dolly Parton! She is just one of the most original people and she seems so honest. I was in Wal-Mart buying a phone card for Justin and of course I ended up spending more than I needed to. I've been doing a lot better with money and I'm so proud that I've saved as much as I have. SO...as a reward, what did I do? I blew a little cash of course! I bought my first belly button ring! It's so pretty...it's pink. The whole belly button piercing wasn't really planned but I'm glad I went with it. I'm not a big fan of body piercings, at least not on me. I have triple holes in each ear and I always said that was all I wanted. Then one day, I just decided to go for it and do something different for me. I can't wait to see the look on Justin's face when he get's a look at it for the first time. lol The hardest part has been keeping it a secret. I tell him pretty much everything, so not spilling the beans has been a challenge!
I’d forgotten how quiet Sundays are at work since I’ve been on my new shift for so long now. It’s kind of nice just to sit here and listen to the hum of my fan, instead of the phones and patient problems. Wearing jeans is also much nicer than the scrubs we wear Monday thru Friday. I love parts of my job. I have some amazing coworkers and a lot of the patients are great. Knowing that I help people let’s me feel as though I’m making a difference, which is wonderful. On the other hand, the hours….not so wonderful! I guess what I like the least is the fact that I work every Saturday, no if’s, and’s or but’s about it. That got old fast and lately I dread the idea of coming in on those days. The money is good though, better than most places around here and I hate to leave. Just the idea of starting all over somewhere else right now makes me hesitant. It’s not that I’m scared to get a new job, but with all that’s going on, it’s probably best that I stick to what I know for now.
This is completely random but I’ve decided it’s a lot harder to blog without music on. I’ll have to remember that next time. Also, as I said in my last post, I'm really new to the whole blog thing. If anyone has any tips they would like to share, that would be great! And if you manage to find this leave me a comment and let me know what you think! Thanks! :-)

Beginning

I'm very new to this so please bear with me! :-) I somehow managed to find the website of a military wife earlier today (while I was watching the last hour of work drag by) and it inspired me to try this out. I'm not sure yet what purpose I want this blog to serve but I guess I'll figure it out as I go. The official countdown is now at 89 days until I get to see Justin again. I'm so excited about seeing him graduate. I'm so excited about seeing him period! lol It wasn't a soldier that I started dating in August of 2006, but it's a soldier I can't wait to see in July 2008. Justin and I spent so much time together while he was still here...and it's been such a shock never seeing him, or talking to him or touching him. How do you prepare yourself for an 180 degree change like that? I spent so much time at his apartment that I practically lived there! 99% of the time I had clothes in the washer, food in the fridge, not to mention all the shampoos, conditioners, lotions and toothbrush that lived in his bathroom. :-) It was completely normal for me to go to work and then head to Justin's until 1 am or so, then home to sleep for a few hours before waking up to do it all again. How many evenings did we spend in the living room with him playing Madden and me making him listen to whatever music I was into at the moment? Or how many times did we curl up under the comforter and watch Talladega Nights and 300? I can't help wonder how many text messages were sent during the hours we were apart. We may not have always been together but we were always in touch. I'd give so much to be able to ask him what he's up to, and hear his standard reply of "Nada." Even more, I'd love to hear him call me Sugar. Somewhere along the way that became our endearment. :-) Without him here I feel...off. I can't come up with the right word to describe it. Empty, lost, alone...kind of but not exactly. Maybe it's a mix of all of them. I'm not dying without him. I hang out with friends and usually try to find something, anything, to do to pass time. I've done things by myself that he normally would have taken care of or at least helped with. Things like buying a car battery (not to mention a whole new car), fixing the stereo problem in my car, and a million other little things. I have a life without him, but it just isn't as full or complete as the one I have with him. My friends are amazing! I couldn't ask for any better because they put up with the fact that somehow or another, I'll always find a way to bring Justin up. They've written him letters and sent him jokes. They put up with me on my down days just like they do on my up days. :-) As great as they are though, none of them can fill the spot he's left in my heart. That's why I keep moving. My goal is to never stop from the moment I get out of bed, until the moment my head touches the pillow. My grandmother always told me that idle hands are the devils workshop and I think the same sort idea applies now. I have a tendency to over analyze everything and with time to just sit and miss him...I just become a train wreck. Time passes so much faster when you keep busy and if there is one thing I want, it's the days to fly by . I can't see him soon enough! Every night, after I write him a letter, read my favorite parts of his letters, and say a prayer for him and all our other soldiers, then I imagine the moment I get to see his face again. Sometimes I can almost feel his arms around me, holding me tight and that's when I let the tears fall. Some days are easier than others, while some seem like they just won't ever end. The hardest part of the whole thing is not being able to communicate with him. My best friend is 6 hours away and now that training has gotten more intense, I'm doing good to get a letter a week. Still, I can't help but feel lucky. Justin isn't in the middle East like so many are. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would love to be there doing his part, but I'm grateful that I can know he's here in the States. After he gets home from BCT and AIT, he's going to do the ROTC at MSU. Things will be so crazy with both of us in school, me working 40+ hours a week, and his Guard duties but I absolutely can't wait. I want to pick our lives back up and move on down this road with my soldier. There's a lot about the future that I don't know, but I want to learn it all with him.