I keep coming back...

Today is the best/worst day of the week...Thursday. It's my day off work and every morning I wake up at 4:30 am thinking..Ugh, is it Thursday yet? lol Yet when the day actually gets here...what do I do? Thursdays used to be my play day. If I weren't already at Justin's, then I would hop out of bed early to get ready, drive the 5 minutes it took to get to the apt, and crawl back into bed with him. :-) We would go to the lake in the summer time, grill, call everyone we knew and end up having a big time. Or maybe we would run errands, or just sit on the couch, or even clean. Whatever it was...he was always there. Now...he's never here. Quite the change. These days I sleep in on Thursdays, get up and search for things to occupy my mind. A girlfriend called me the other day and I was cleaning. She made the comment that I must be clean freak, because every time she calls that's what she catches me doing. I just told her that I have fall back busy work. I clean, I walk, I tan, I write and they help me pass the time.
I'm spoiled. I will come right out and admit it. I got used to hearing from Justin at least once a week since he left and I'm struggling. It's been a while now and I still write everyday but what do I say? I feel like I keep asking the same questions over and over again. I tell him about the day to day stuff here, but I'm afraid to sound self centered, like I only want to talk about me, me, me. I keep telling myself that we're almost halfway through and then it's all downhill from there. 13 more days to the turning point...I can make it that long, can't I?
**I think I'm going to end this with some song lyrics. It's a country song by Josh Gracin and I absolutely love it. It's one of the songs I usually listen to when I write Justin. :-)

I Keep Coming Back

I told myself getting out
That’s what this is all about
Sun goes up, sun goes down
You only get one go around
Then I left this town

Then I let that road carry me
As far as it could carry me
Stood on a mountain free
Found a place where I could breathe in and out
And thought about things that I can’t live without

Chorus:
I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back

See the more people change
The more that they stay the same
So I just stopped everything
Thought about all the things
Weighing me down
Then I threw out old boxes
Emptied my pockets
Of regrets and love letters
Pictures and lockets

And all I have now
Is the truth that I’ve found
Life has a way
Of just turning around
And around
And around

I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back

To the town on the hill
So peaceful and still
And my memories are at

I keep coming back
Time after time
No matter where I’m at
I can’t pretend
I’ve found something better than where I’ve been
Cause where I’m from
Is who I am
And no matter how far that I run
No matter how far
No matter how far that I run
Yea I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back